Recognize Suffering, and Then, Be Free from It

Many people who come into contact with the teachings of Buddhism are aware that the first of the Four Noble Truths — or truths about existence — is “dukkha” (suffering).

For a lot of us, that’s where it stops. We don’t want to go further. It feels pessimistic. “Why does Buddhism focus so much on suffering?” we ask. “Life has so many beautiful things — why keep talking about suffering, suffering, suffering?” (I used to feel this way too.)

That changed recently when I came across the writing of Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, a Tibetan Buddhist monk whose books have made it to the New York Times Best Seller list.

And suddenly, it clicked: it's not depressing at all!

The Buddha simply pointed out a truth — “suffering exists” — not that “life is suffering.” (If life was inherently suffering, why would he go on to talk about the cessation of suffering and the path to its end?)

The phrase “suffering exists” reflects a neutral observation — it's not a condemnation. It’s like saying humans have two arms or two eyes. It’s just how things are. Dukkha is a natural part of life.

So why did the Buddha focus so much on suffering and its cessation?

Because most people, while living their lives, don’t see life clearly. We want to freeze the good moments and make them last forever, or rush through the bad ones as quickly as possible. We're rarely satisfied with what is.

Take, for example, buying a new BMW. You cherish it — it’s a reward for your hard work. You drive it around, care for it meticulously. But over time, it wears out. And suddenly, this object that once brought you joy is now a source of stress. Why? Because you don't want it to change — but everything changes.

Years pass, and now you want to sell it. You wait for the right buyer, post ads, and feel impatient. Why? Because you want the situation to change — faster this time.

So whether we fear change or crave it, we suffer. We swing between clinging and resisting. And that swing itself is exhausting.

At this point, we need to understand the Second Noble Truth — the origin of suffering (samudaya). Our craving (tanha) — wanting to have, to be, to control — is merely a mental impulse that passes through our awareness. But we don’t have to identify with it. It doesn’t have to be “us” or “ours.”

The real root of our attachment is ignorance (avijja) — not understanding how life truly works. We don’t realize that everything is conditioned, interconnected, impermanent.

When we begin to see everything through the lens of the Three Marks of Existence — anicca (impermanence), dukkha (suffering caused by resistance to change), and anatta (non-self — nothing exists independently or belongs to a “me”) — we start to release our suffering right at the source.

I had a personal lesson in this recently. A friend told me I tend to “blend in” with others too much, not standing my ground.

Ouch. That stung. How would you feel if someone pointed out something like that about you? Angry, right?

At first, I was. I felt attacked. It felt like a blow to my identity. But then I paused to reflect: “Wait — is this ‘self’ they criticized even real? Is that truly who I am?”

As I examined it, I realized: that behavior — of blending in — was conditioned. It arose from past experiences, patterns, and habits. In Buddhism, these are called anusaya — latent tendencies stored in the mind. Just like a thunderstorm, these habits arise, express themselves, and pass. They’re not permanent, and they’re not personal. They’re not “me.”

The anger I felt? That too was a passing phenomenon. It rose like thunder and faded just as fast. The suffering only lingered because I clung to the identity being criticized.

Once I saw that, my heart softened. I messaged my friend and thanked them for pointing it out. Because now, I see that these old patterns — they can change. I have the power to transform them into wisdom.

Like one teaching says: “When suffering touches you, let Dhamma stir your heart.” That’s how a wholesome mind begins to blossom. A friend who dares to speak the truth is a blessing — and we can be that friend for others, too.

This is what I’ve learned from suffering: we’re here to transform it into wisdom.

But before that transformation can begin, we must first understand suffering, and its origin. Only then can we let go of the false belief that we own our suffering — or that we have to obey it.

This is an ongoing journey, a dynamic process — something we must do again and again, until the day we die. But don’t be discouraged. Because this path is beautiful — like a flower blooming through soil, water, and air. We’re here to transform — and this transformation is what makes life so precious.

In the next article, I’ll explore the next two truths: nirodha (the cessation of suffering) and magga (the path leading to its end).